Identity Comes From The Father

What if your life could run on the quiet power of being wanted? In this message, Brian Durfee walks through Ephesians 1 to show how God reframes our identity from the ground up, moving us from an orphan mindset to the settled confidence of sons and daughters who live “before Him”—face to face with the Father—every hour of the day.

We begin by separating the method of sonship from its source. The gospel is the method—Jesus dies and rises so we can receive life. The source is the Father’s heart—He chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world. Together we unpack the language and the stakes: “every spiritual blessing” is not distant theology but a present-tense reality flowing from union with the exalted Christ. “Holy” means set apart for God—belonging before behaving. “Blameless” means unblemished integrity—purity within that relationship. And “before Him” paints the intimate picture: the Father lifting His child eye to eye, delighting, steadying, and sending with love.

From there, the message turns to ordinary life. Sonship changes Monday morning more than it changes your someday; it resets the first truth about you before email, expectations, and memory of mistakes. When we stumble, we run to the Father, not from Him, trusting the grace that forgives and the presence that restores. We learn to carry the family name into work, parenting, and friendships so others catch a glimpse of the Father’s patience, courage, and mercy through us. And we remember that this isn’t a solo journey—we live as brothers and sisters in His kingdom now, practicing nearness to God in the middle of busy schedules and real struggles.

For anyone weary of earning their place or bracing for rejection, this message is an invitation to live from a deeper center: chosen, loved, holy, blameless, and always before His face.

We are Trinity Community Church in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Subscribe to our Podcast & YouTube channel to find past sermons, classes, interviews, and more!
Find us on Facebook & Instagram

Chapters

• 0:04 Identity And The Orphan Mindset
• 2:10 Busy Lives And Why Sonship Matters Now
• 3:27 Method Versus Source Of Sonship
• 6:14 Unpacking “Every Spiritual Blessing”
• 7:24 The Father’s Choice: Greek Insights
• 10:02 Chosen Before The World Began
• 11:00 Purpose: Holy And Blameless
• 13:36 Before Him: In The Father’s Face
• 17:12 In Love And Adoption Explained
• 19:54 Living As Sons In The Here And Now
• 22:28 Running To The Father After Sin

Transcript

Brian Durfee: 0:04

Everything in our lives flows for who we believe we are. You know, a few weeks, a few weeks ago, Derek talked out of uh, he focused primarily on Ephesians 1.5, and he uh he asked the question, think about God, and then think about what God's face looks like when he looks at you. And he said, if it's not a smile, then you still probably have some kind of orphan mindset. And we, you know, sometimes we we don't realize that we're thinking like an orphan when it comes to God. We've got this idea of God that's based on our earthly father and what our earthly father did well or what he didn't do well. Um, and so I want to build on what Eric spoke about. He was speaking primarily in Ephesians 1.5, and I want to go to 1.4. So, and don't worry, this isn't long. Um, think about good fathers here on earth. Even if you you don't have children, I think most people here probably do, but even if you don't, we all had a biological father and possibly an adoptive father. And so we can at least understand the concept of whether they were good fathers or not. And there's no father who does it all right here on earth. And even if our father was screwed up, we, you know, we now do our bet the best we can because we want our son to grow up to be a good man and a good father, or our daughter to grow up to be a good woman and a good mother. You know, that's what we want. But we have a lot to do just to live life. I mean, you know, how do I have this time to focus on what I'm supposed to learn so I can be a good parent and all that? I mean, think about it. We take care of our ourselves, our families, and our kids, and then there's a then there's our jobs, and then there's the stuff that we like to do at church, and then there's the stuff that we feel like we should do at church, and then we're supposed to read our Bible and pray, and if we're lucky, we get a little bit of free time. We live very busy lives.

unknown: 2:17

Yes, true.

Brian Durfee: 2:19

Within most of all the tasks and obligations and busyness, we don't really have a whole lot of time to think about what it means to be a son of God. And yet, God, the Father, is our model for the fathers that we're to be. Whether that means we're fathering our own children, or whether it means that we're mentoring other young men, or if it just means that we're understanding who our father is. So we can we can agree that we are a son of God, that we've been adopted by God, but in the middle of this busy life, what big difference does a son mean when we've got all this other stuff to do? I mean, if you think about it, Ephesians 1.3 says, God has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies. So that's all nice and spiritual, and we can be that, and we can agree that being a child of God is a spiritual blessing. That takes care of the future, so we don't go to hell and we go to heaven, but what in the world is it gonna do us for right now, in the here and now? So I want you to take that thought and put a pen in it because we're gonna come back to that. Now, what I want to talk about this morning is the source of our sonship. And I know that we're, you know, I know we are sons in Christ because he died the death that we deserve, because our sin, because of our sin, and he rose from the dead, giving eternal life to all who will repent and abide in him. I mean, we hear that all the time in church. That's the gospel. That's not the source of your sonship, that's the method by which we become sons. The way it happens is that Jesus gave us life, and we can become sons of God if we repent and follow Jesus. That's the method. Ephesians 1 said 1:3, it says that we have received all spiritual blessings in Christ in the heavenlies. Now, this isn't a literal translation, but here is what those things entail: all spiritual blessings. That's all we can we can interpret that one way to mean all the rights and privileges. In Christ, the method by which we become a son, and in the heavenlies, this is not about the afterlife. The heavenly refers to a spiritual realm. It exists right alongside the physical realm here, right now. So when Paul says God has blessed us in the heavenlies in Christ, he means that all the blessings we receive are rooted in our union with Christ and drawn from his exalted position. Now that's still not where I want to focus today, but it's the backdrop of what we need to understand. Without Christ, we are spiritually dead. We are dead in the heavenly realm. And in Christ, we're made alive, not only just alive, but also sons of God. And as a son, we're blessed with all spiritual blessings. In other words, we're granted all the rights and privileges of being a son. A son gets his identity, his sonship, from his father. When a boy is born, he instantly becomes a son of his father. The identity of the father is passed to the son. He's given the last name of the father, indicating the family to which he belongs. As a son grows up from infant to man, the son has all the rights and privileges that are given to him as a member of the family. All those rights and privileges come because of the identity the father has given him. Now, on this earth, some fathers don't want sons. They're completely self-centered and just want to have sex. They don't want to have a child, and they may go as far as rejecting their responsibility as a father and therefore reject their child. Those are bad fathers. But it's not that like that with God. And that's what I that's where I'm getting to today. You know, the New Testament was originally written mostly in Greek, and anytime you translate one language into another, it doesn't always bring over all the meaning. And so we're going to look at the meaning of some words from the original Greek in Ephesians 1.4. And I want to tell you, every one of you can do this. This is not something that it there's a site called Bible Hub, and it will give you all this information, okay? So um, but what I want to do is I just want to walk through Ephesians 1.4, just that one verse. So that verse says, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. Now, even as he chose, he is referring to the Father. Just keep that in mind. The very first word, which in English we it's a phrase, just as or even as, that's one word Greek, in Greek, and when I it's uh kathos. And when I learned that word, it just really kind of flipped this whole passage on because it's called a comparative conjunction. And yes, I just learned that. But a comparative conjuncture, what it does is it connects two ideas by showing how one reflects the other. So it connects what's said before with what's said after. So that little phrase, just as, here's what Paul's Paul's saying. You know all those spiritual blessings I just mentioned? Let's talk about them. The first one is, and he goes on to talk. So that's what just as is. He's saying, here's the first of all those spiritual blessings that we've got. And so then he the first blessing is Father chose. He chose. Okay? Why is that a blessing? Well, there's something that the English doesn't bring about, but the Greek does. And like I said, this is all in Bible Hub. Um, it's a completed, first off, the tense means it's a completed action. He chose, it's a done deal, it's it's finished. Second, it's a statement of fact. But third is the big thing. It's uh it's called middle voice. God did it himself. When it came to choosing, God didn't look over and say, hey Gabriel, take care of this for me. God chose himself. He didn't outsource it, he did it himself. It was intentional, he was personally involved. When you start thinking about you're chosen, you weren't just chosen by accident or randomly, or God says, okay, flip the flip the bingo cage and let's pull out a ball and see who gets it this time. God chose you specifically. And then the next word is us. So he chose us. And that's not complicated. In Greek, it means us. The next the the next the next phrase is in him. Paul's talking about in Christ. It refers to our position, our union with Christ. God didn't choose people randomly or independently, he chose people who would be united with his son. That phrase in him or in Christ, and it's all through Ephesians. It identifies the realm or category of people God chose, those who are or would be united with Christ. So now let's put all this together so far, and we're gonna build this as we go. You know all those spiritual blessings? Let's talk about them. The first one is that God himself chose us as those who would be united with Christ. That's pretty good. God's intentional about you, Nick. He's intentional about you, Bruce, and each one of us. It's not, okay, they screwed up, let's get let's get them fixed, let's bring. No, he chose you, Scott. He chose you, Randy. It's an individual thing. He chose you to be united with Christ. And then the next phrase says, before the foundation of the world. Well, the word foundation comes from two words, which I found kind of funny. It means a throwing down. And you say, how do you get foundation from a throwing down? Well, it also means a laying down. And it's the act of laying down a foundation or describes something at the beginning of its process. The word for world actually means this world that we live in. So taking that and adding it on, you know those spiritual blessings? You all are going to get so tired of hearing this before the end. You know those spiritual blessings? Let's talk about them. The first one is that before he even started planning the creation process of the world, God himself chose us as those who would be united with Christ. Are you all starting to see how this is building?

unknown: 10:48

Yeah.

Brian Durfee: 10:49

So I know, like I said, I know it's a little redundant, but it's it's really important that we get this. So then this is the next phrase in Greek, which is different than it reads in English. It's the same words, but it reads different. To be us holy and blameless, which sounds a little weird in English. To be is is an infinitive. And so Greek infinitives, when they come after verbs like choosing or appointing, they indicate purpose. And so the next phrase is a purpose statement. So the purpose of God choosing us to be united in Christ. Well, God chose us when He started before the planning of the planning of the creation of the world. Why? For us to be holy and blameless. And whole, you know, those two words, holy and blameless, they sound a little redundant, kind of like the same thing. Um and uh, but let's look at the meaning of those two. Holy means to be set apart or consecrated, devoted to God. Now, moral pure, we know normally when we think holy, we think morally pure, you know, sins done away with. And that's an aspect of it. But actually, what holiness is speaking about, it starts with belonging. It is being set apart for relationship with God and for and for God's use in relation to it. So holiness is about being set apart, being dedicated to God. You know, rem if you remember in the temple in the Bible, you know, they had different implements in the temple, and they were considered to be holy. Well, you know, we don't speak of those implements as being sinless, but they are set apart for a specific purpose. They are set apart for God. That's what holiness is. So when we say I want to be holy, what we're really saying is I want to be set apart for God. Now, the word blameless is about moral purity. It comes from two words, blemished and not. Not blemished. That's what blameless means. Without fault, spotless. In the Old Testament, that was the word for the sacrificial sacrificial animals that were a suitable offering for God. In the New Testament, it takes on the meaning of moral purity and integrity, being untainted by sin or accusation. So blameless is not about being set apart, it's about being pure and undefiled within that relationship to which we are set apart. So now let's look at everything put together again. You know all those spiritual blessings? Let's talk about them. The first one is that before God even started planning, the started the planning and creation process of the world, he himself chose us as those who would be united with Christ for this purpose, for us to be completely set apart and so completely pure that we can't even be accused of doing anything wrong. And then here comes the kicker. This is the big thing. This next little phrase is a big thing. And for me, it makes the verse. It's the phrase before him. The primary, and this whole verse, think about this verse, the primary thought of this verse begins and ends with God. It starts with God chose and it ends before him. There's another couple of words that we'll talk about in a second, but it essentially ends with the words before him. Everything begins and ends with God, and we're the beneficiaries in the middle. The Greek word for before, you know, it said before before the foundation of the world, and now we have before him. Before is two totally Greek words, two different Greek words there. The Greek word before in this phrase, before him, is is I'm going to butcher this and opion. So um, and it's a combination of three different ideas. The first word is kata, which means down or according to or or in relation to. The second word is in, which literally means in. And the third word is op, which means face or eye. When you put them all through when you put all three of these thoughts together in this one Greek word, it means in the face or in front of the eyes. So we were chosen so that we could literally be in the in front of the face of God. Only a good father wants his son in his face. That's what he wants. So picture a father who lifts his baby boy right up in front of his face so that he can he can kiss and snuggle his little his little boy and toss him up into the air. Think of a father who, when his young boy has fallen down and is crying, his eight-year-old, and he gets right down in front of the eight-year-old and says, Hey, look at me, look at me. You're okay. And in that moment, the boy realizes that a skin knee is not the end of the world. Think about the father who grabs the shoulders of his son, who is now a young man, and he squares him up and he looks him right in the right in the eyes, and they're looking at one another, and he says, I'm proud of you, son. I love you, son. That's our father. That's being in the face of God. He wants us in his presence. He wants to hang out with us because he loves us and he likes us. So often we think of ourselves as not likable, and that's not true. God likes us. And we're not just invited into his presence. We were chosen for it. We were chosen to live our lives right now in front of God, completely in his presence. And that's all the time. That's not just in our devotions at the beginning of the day. That's as we go to the bathroom, that's as we take a shower, that's as as we eat our breakfast, that's as we go to work. If we're retired, it's as we go do our other stuff. Um, at every moment of every day, God says, Hey, I want you to live in my presence. So let's look at what we have now. You know all those things, all those spiritual blessings? Well, let's talk about them. The first one is that before he even started planning and creating the processes of the world, God himself chose us as those who would be united with Christ for this purpose, for us to be completely set apart and so completely pure that we can't even be accused of any wrongdoing, so that we can be continually be in his face, always in his presence. And then comes this these last two little words at the end of the verse, in love. Now, theologians sometimes wrestle with this phrase, and whether it goes with verse 4 or verse 5, because we have we have it broken down into verses, but in actuality, verses one, uh what is it, 1 through 14 are all one long run-on sentence that Paul did. And so the theologians wrestle with, okay, does in love go with the next verse or does it go with this verse? Well, you know what? It doesn't matter, because it brings the same meaning regardless of which verse you put it in. Why did God choose us to be in his presence? That's verse 4. Why did God predestine us to be to be adopted as sons? That's verse five. Because he has loved us before the foundation of the world. This message is for every single one of us. This is God calling to us and saying, I choose you for more than you can ask, think, or imagine, because I choose you to be with me. You're chosen by the Most High God. You're chosen to be united with Christ. You're chosen to be devoted to God as set apart for him. You're chosen to be so morally pure that no one can find anything to accuse you of, and you are chosen to be in to live in God's presence. And all this happens because we're in Christ. We can't do it. He already did. It's not dependent on anything that we can or can't do now. God not only chose us, but he did all the work to make it happen. So the very next verse, verse 5, sums up this whole choosing thing. Because you were chosen, you are predestined to be adopted as sons with all the rights and privileges that come with being part of the household of God. That's the Durfee translation. And it's all according to the purpose of his will. He wants it that way. The source of sonship is God Almighty, the maker of universe. Are you getting this? The source of sonship, your sonship, is that the Most High God, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega, and the beginning of the end, you're completely and utterly a son in the kingdom of God because God wants you and chooses you. He wants you. So what do we do with all this? How does being a son help us in the here and now? Being son changes everything about our perspective in life and how we live it. We live like sons who belong. God didn't choose us so that we could one day make it make it to heaven. He chose us so that he so that here and now we would live as his sons in his presence. If God chose you before the foundation of the world to live in his presence, then stop living like you're on the outside looking in. When you wake up tomorrow before the noise of the day, remind yourself the first thing true about you today is not your to-do list, it's not your job title, and it's not your mistakes. It's that you're his son chosen to stand right in his face. As you go through your day, live from that place. Maybe your father didn't show you what a good father's like, but you can talk to God as the father that you've always needed. He's patient, he's kind, he's never too busy, he's never disappointed. You don't have to earn his approval, you don't, you know, you don't have to fear his anger. You can come to him honestly and trust that he loves you just because you're his son. That means when you've messed up, there's a comedian uh by the name of Paul Poundstone that I saw her routine years ago, and she said, I had problems with my cat climbing up climbing up the bookshelf. And so I went and I got a water bottle and I filled it with water, and the next time the cat ran up the shelf, I squirted it with the water bottle, and the cat ran to me for protection. Do you realize the irony of that? You know what? When we sin, it's under the blood, and we run to God for protection. We run to God. When you got, if you if you've got a sin that you're dealing with, run to God. He's the only one who can remedy it. You can try to hide it, you can feel shame, you can feel guilt, or you can run to God. That's the kind of father he is. And he is going to say, okay, you're forgiven. Go and sin no more. But hey, let me go with you to help you. That's our that's our father. You know, every every day you get to walk through your day carrying your father's name. When people meet us, they should get a glimpse of the Father, his patience, his courage, his mercy, or whatever the situation calls for. Everywhere we go, we represent the Father who lifted up his arms and said, This one's mine. And when temptation or shame whispers and says, You don't belong, because you screwed up, you look up and say, My Father chose me. I'm set apart. I am holy. I am blameless. And here's the here's another thing. We don't do this alone. God's given us each other. Brothers, fellow sons. We can walk this thing out together. In Matthew 4:17, Jesus began ministry, but he began his ministry by preaching repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Being a son means living in that kingdom. And we are in that kingdom because our father chose us. We can live in that kingdom right here and right now. So let's start living like sons together. Chosen, loved, and standing, standing face to face with our Father.